


MCU Drabble Spring Cleaning

by gothamsnerd



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-29 02:51:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18217202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothamsnerd/pseuds/gothamsnerd
Summary: Cleaning out my Google Docs folder, found this.  Currently no ships included, but may be in the future (they will be tagged when they happen).Hemingway's rules of fanfiction: write drunk, edit sober, and post while reassuring F. Scott Fitzgerald that his manmeat isn't as small as he thinks it is.This is not beta read at all, all mistakes are mine and caused by an Australian winery that ages their wine in rum barrels.





	1. Black Widow does not appreciate your cultural misappropriation

Written pre-Cardi B, this is mostly in response to Iggy Azalea charting as high as she did.

 

Tony Stark looked at Natasha Romanov and had an epiphany. 

"You know that Black Widow song? That should be your theme song," said Tony. The two didn’t get much one -on-one time. Which was fine with Nat, but Darcy set up these Avengers "dates", to boost camaraderie, and since the team genuinely liked her, nobody could say no.

Which means Tony and Nat were sitting in some dive bar talking about pop music.

"No." Tony continued as if he didnt hear.

"It’s your name. Literally."

"Not literally, figuratively," said Nat, while finishing the remnants off her bowl of bar nuts. "Let me ask you, what was the last black, female hip-hop artist with a number one song?"

"I dunno," said Tony.

"I dunno either. That’s an issue. Here's this white Australian girl rapping like she's from the dirty south, while actual dirty south female hip-hop artists are ignored. Its bullshit," said Nat. "Hey Darce!"

"What's up doc?" Darcy Lewis poked her head up from the booth seat just behind Natasha.

"Lets get Tony a playlist of some decent female hip-hop."

"Will do boss-lady." Darcy was already tapping away at her Starkpad.

"Throw some Norwegian death metal on there; AC/DC is not as hardcore as Tony thinks it is."

 

Need listening suggestions? This list is where its at: https://theboombox.com/50-greatest-songs-by-female-rappers/


	2. Sam Wilson, Future LLPC and MSW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place post-Winter Soldier, and written before Civil War and Black Panther.
> 
> I opted not to continue with this, as Sam Wilson does not need to perform emotional labor for his white co-workers, even if it does get him 2 Masters degrees. But I enjoyed the dialogue, and I feel that even post-Captain Marvel, Fury is still on point here.

Sam Wilson pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from jumping off the roof and flying away from the situation. He assumed that the man with the eye patch would eventually find him anyways, so there really was no point in running away. Or flying away. 

“When you say ‘fix him’, you do understand that PTSD isn’t something that can be magically cured, right? Because I’m not picking that up from your context clues,” said Sam.

“James Barnes needs help. Help that you can provide. Getting him to come back, recovering his memories, those are only the first steps. He needs to get back into society,” said Nick.

“You do realize that this is highly unethical? I’ve spent time with him, I consider him a frenemy. Mental health professionals are not supposed to cross that line. There has to be someone else,” asked Sam, gesturing to the New York skyline.

“WHO THE FUCK ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET? You and your friends essentially took down SHIELD. It’s not like I’ve got a medical team available. Or an HR department that can help me find an in-network psychiatrist. I’ve got a scientist who studies gamma radiation, an engineer, and whoever-the-hell Coulson dredged up. I am out of options. Bucky Barnes needs help. And YOU need practicum hours to graduate,” said Nick. He could be rather intense when he wanted to be.

“No. You do not get to dangle my degrees in front of me,” said Sam.

“Tell me what it is again that you’re going to school for,” said Nick, looking Sam straight in the eyes. Sam sighed and met his eye back.

“A dual master’s in counseling and social work,” he said, sighing with resignation.

“And you’re going to do what with that?” asked not-quite-Director Fury.

“Help service men and women returning from duty manage their PTSD and navigate the social services that are available to them. Be their advocate when they deal with government bureaucracy and assist in their transition into civilian life,” said the young man. 

“And you not only have the security clearance to run around and play hero with Rogers, but you’re also living in Avengers tower. You are the only man for the job,” said Fury, who looked hopeful enough to decrease his speaking volume. 

“What am I supposed to do?” asked Sam, who increased his speaking volume to make up the difference. “My methods classes didn’t cover brainwashed ex-assassins. Can he get disability for that? I don’t know! How the fuck am I supposed to do this?”

“I don’t tell you how to do it, I just tell you to do it. You’re a smart guy, do some research or something. And hell, you’re already doing it. I heard you pulling that reflective listening crap on Barton. I never knew he used to sleep with the elephants because of “Dumbo”. He doesn’t talk about that shit. But 5 minutes with you and he can’t shut up,” said Nick. Sam laughed and looked at the older man smiling. 

“Fine. I’ll do it.”

“Good. And while you’re there, have some talks with the rest of the team. God knows those sumbitches need it.”

“Aw, come on!”


End file.
